


Because

by PhiraLovesLoki



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Altered Mental States, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Consent, F/M, Magical Drugs, Neverland, Neverland Renaissance, Recreational Drug Use, Sex Pollen, Smut, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 16:29:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8630992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhiraLovesLoki/pseuds/PhiraLovesLoki
Summary: With Neverland getting to her, Emma needs a break. When she follows Hook to a strange clearing, she finds the distractions she needs. Neverland canon divergence.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [caprelloidea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caprelloidea/gifts), [swankkat (solitarystroll)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/solitarystroll/gifts).



> This is for caprelloidea and swankkat!
> 
> While this story involves sex pollen, I've done my best to make sure that everyone is consenting.

They’d all agreed that they needed a solid night of rest. Of course, it had been night ever since they’d gotten here, so this was just something they’d agreed on when, one by one, they’d admitted they were exhausted. And so they’d made camp and everyone had wrapped themselves in their blankets and gone to sleep.

Except Emma, of course.

Just like the last time she’d tried to sleep, she could hear the cries of the Lost Boys. She  _ hated _ why she could hear them. It was just proof that the damage was done, that finding her parents didn’t matter since they’d left her in the first place. She never wanted Henry to be able to hear these sounds.

Even though she was physically wiped, she was an experienced enough insomniac to know that sleep wasn’t going to happen. She knew that David and Mary Margaret would protest, talk about how she needed her rest to be ready to go up against Pan and whatnot, but it wasn’t like she hadn’t been  _ trying _ to sleep. She knew she wouldn’t, and it wasn’t worth trying, at least not for a few hours.

She was about to roll out of her makeshift bed and so she could sit by the fire when she heard someone else moving about. She flipped onto her side to find Hook sitting up, pulling on his leather coat, and walking away from the camp.

Where the hell was he going?

She was temporarily giving up on sleep anyway; might as well follow him.

She lost sight of him for a bit, but could sort of tell where he’d been walking, when all of a sudden, he was right in front of her, staring at her sternly. “Why are you following me, Swan?”

“I … uh …” She was a little embarrassed to say the truth, which was just plain old curiosity. “I thought you might be deserting us.”

He scoffed. “And why would I do that?”

_ Because you’re a pirate? Because you didn’t want to be here in the first place? Because you were a villain until like five minutes ago and we don’t really trust you? _

“Where are you going?” she asked instead.

“I was seeking solitude.”

“Yeah?”

He rolled his eyes. “Solitude, Swan. It means that I wish to be alone.”

“You can’t sleep either, can you?”

His eyes narrowed. “And why can’t  _ you _ sleep?”

_Because I can hear the Lost Boys._ _Because I’m too stressed and scared. Because I have to be a leader to save Henry and I don’t know how to lead._ She shrugged instead.

He sighed. “Follow me.”

After about five minutes, they stepped into a small clearing. “Don’t touch any of the plants,” he warned before sitting down in front of a small, crystal clear pool. There was a gorgeous waterfall at the other end. “Or the water.”

She sat beside him. “What is this place?”

“It’s just a place where I can be alone. Or where I  _ could _ be alone,” he corrected. But the eyebrow he raised at her wasn’t  _ that _ judgmental.

“Come here often?”

He chuckled. “No. Just a few times, but there are usually Lost Boys here.”

“How did you know there wouldn’t be any?”

“Pan’s mobilizing. This is a more … recreational location.”

“What does  _ that _ mean?”

“It means, love, that Lost Boys are still  _ boys _ . Locations like this help Pan keep them loyal. They can come here, or go to similar locations, and forget for a while that they’re lost.”

“You know, you  _ can _ try being less mysterious and poetic and shit.”

“You are, without a doubt, the  _ least _ romantic person I have ever met. Did you know that, Swan?”

She snorted. “I just want to know how this is a  _ recreational location. _ I don’t see any water slides.”

“Water slides?”

“There’s a little pool of water, and a bunch of trees and bushes and flowers. How is this supposed to be  _ fun?” _

“That’s what you see?” She nodded. “And I suppose that dreamshade simply looks like a briar patch to you then.”

“So you’re saying that all this,” and she waved her arm around at the scenery, “is a bunch of fun stuff in disguise?”

“Aye.”

“Okay, so then … tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“Seriously?” He chuckled. “Come on, Hook. What am I looking at?”

“Very well, Swan.” He tapped at his chin thoughtfully. “Let’s see. Let’s say that you were a Lost Girl, as it were, although to be fair, in my experience Lost Girls were rare and often returned to their worlds within days or weeks at most—”

“You’re stalling.” And she didn’t really like the whole  _ Lost Girl _ comment, not after what Pan had said to get her riled up.

“And let’s say that you were desperate to forget your difficult past, or perhaps your loneliness.” His voice wasn’t teasing anymore; she hoped that he was remembering that this wasn’t really that hypothetical for her, and not really something to tease about. “If you needed some time to forget, you might take a drink from the water here.”

“Whoa. Wait, that’s crazy.”

“It’s temporary. A sip would leave you a blank slate for several minutes; a few mouthfuls, perhaps for an hour. Bathing in it is a different story; a Lost Boy once tossed one of my crew in there, soaking him thoroughly. It was several days before the man regained his memories. A few splashes won’t do you much harm—similar to a sip—but if you really linger, it’ll take hold.”

“That sounds really … weird.”

“Aye, I suppose.”

“Like, you wouldn’t be happy or anything, you just wouldn’t remember anything?”

“It’s a different experience. Some of the Lost Boys prefer it.”

“To happiness?” He nodded. “Is there, like … happiness water?”

He pointed at one of the many plants surrounding them; this one looked similar to bamboo, but without the segments. One of the tubes of greenery had snapped in half, and some sap was running down the stalk. “The sap of that plant, when rubbed on the skin, will cause all of your worry, fear, and anger to vanish. Again, temporarily.”

“Whoa.”

“Aye.”

“So you just … forget it all?” She frowned. “How is that different?”

“Please, Swan, that’s  _ not _ what I said. It removes negative feelings; your memories remain intact, but you are simply …”

“Happy,” she finished.

“Happy,” he echoed. She stared at the plant for a few more moments before turning back to look at the water. It looked gorgeous; she could imagine that a lot of Lost Boys stumbled on it and had their memories wiped by mistake because they didn’t know its effects. Hell, if Hook hadn’t said anything, she probably would have gone to the water’s edge and run her fingers through it a little. Or even taken off her boots and socks and dipped her toes in.

Realistically, she knew she should thank Hook for helping her distract herself, so she could go back to camp and try to sleep. Try to ignore the Lost Boys’ cries. Try to forget that she’d made no progress in finding Henry. Try to forget that she could never seem to catch a break since the curse broke. Since before the curse broke. Since … forever.

What was it he’d said? A sip would last for several minutes?

“What are you doing?” he asked, an edge of panic in his voice. She ignored him as she stood and walked to the edge of the pool. She heard rustling behind her, so she wasn’t surprised when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “Are you  _ mad?” _

“Okay, first of all?” He released her arm instantly and his face flushed. “Yeah, and  _ don’t _ do that again. Second of all,  _ you _ said it was  _ temporary.” _

She’d never known him to actually stammer, so she was a little unnerved when he did. “But—Swan, yes I told you that—I simply—what if—”

“What if what? What if I can’t fucking sleep because of everything that’s going on?”

He blinked at her. “You wish to forget so you can sleep?”

“Well,  _ no,  _ just …” How could she explain it?

Understanding dawned on his face, and she wished she could just be swallowed up by the ground forever.

“Have you done it?” she asked. He nodded. “What’s it like?”

He closed his eyes for a moment before answering. “I suppose you’ll see.”

She nodded and knelt down by the water’s edge. “Just a sip,” she said. “I’ll even drink straight from the water so I don’t get it on my hands.”

“I can’t stop you, but nothing you say is going to convince me this is a good idea.”

Well, that was fair.

She took a deep breath, her face centimeters away from the surface. It was just for a few minutes. She just wanted to have a few minutes of peace.

She touched her lips to the water and took a small sip. She swallowed, pulled back, and stood back up to face Hook.

He was staring at her with fear and curiosity. But nothing had happened. “It didn’t work,” she said, half complaining and half accusing.

He rolled his eyes and glared. “Oh,  _ really,  _ darling?”

She blinked.

Wha—where was she?

She was in some kind of a clearing, and it was nighttime, and there was this … man just standing there, staring at her like she’d done something annoying.

Wow, though. Wow. He was  _ handsome. _ He was wearing a lot of leather. Was that weird? What was normal for people to wear though?

But no, wait, he was  _ so very handsome. _ “Oh wow.”

His expression immediately changed. He seemed concerned. Caring. Like he was looking out for her. “Do you feel all right?”

“Oh  _ wow.” _ His voice was  _ really _ sexy.

“Darling?”

Darling? Her stomach did a little flip. Were they a thing? Did she get to be with this really handsome guy? Oh shit, he had a hook for a hand. “You have a hook for a hand,” she said, pointing.

He let out a little laugh. “Aye, I do. Do you remember where we are?”

“No,” she admitted. “How did I get here?”

“It’s all right, that’s not important. And I suppose you don’t remember who I am.” She shook her head. “Do you remember who  _ you _ are?”

That was a stupid question. She was— 

Well, of  _ course,  _ she …

“Weird,” she said. “I don’t.”

Panic began to rise up. She had  _ no _ memories. None. How did this happen? Would they come back?

“It’s all right,” he repeated. “Sit with me.”

“I’m scared,” she admitted.

He smiled kindly at her. “I know.” He sat down on the ground and beckoned for her to join him. “Please, sit. I’ll help.”

What else could she do? So she sat, right next to him, and took a few deep breaths.

“That water erases memories temporarily,” he said, pointing. There had been water behind her—she just hadn’t noticed because she’d been facing in the other direction. “Your memories will return soon. I’ll stay with you in the meantime.”

“Are you sure?”

“Aye, I’m sure.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

She wanted to ask so many questions. Had she fallen in? No, she wasn’t wet. Had she been tricked into drinking it? Had she done it on purpose?

“Just relax, love,” he said, like he knew what she was thinking. “You have nothing to worry about. The two of us are here, alone, with nothing to harm us. You are completely safe. You can simply relax. Rest.”

“Okay.” She had so many questions, but this man seemed so sure that she shouldn’t worry, it was hard to ask them.

Besides, she was really tired.  _ Really  _ tired. Like she hadn’t slept in years. And it was so quiet here. “Do you think I could rest a bit?” she asked. “I’m really sleepy.”

He turned to her and smiled. She loved his smile. She hoped they were together; he seemed really nice. “Rest would do you good,” he said gently. He furrowed his brow in thought before pulling off his coat. It wasn’t easy, since he was sitting on it, but he figured out a way. He handed it to her. “Here, you can lie down on this. Or, ah, use it as a blanket. Whichever you’d prefer.”

Okay, they  _ had _ to be together, right? He just looked like he cared so much about her. “The ground’s pretty soft,” she said. “But blanket sounds good.” He nodded, and as she lay down, he draped it over her.

It smelled  _ so _ good, like leather and whatever he smelled like. She kind of wanted to roll around in it, but she was too tired. She was  _ so _ tired.

 

Emma was a little confused when she woke up to the sounds of the Lost Boys crying. She wasn’t on her bedroll, and this  _ wasn’t _ her blanket. It was heavier, and not blanket-shaped, and it smelled like leather and Hook.

She groaned.

“Welcome back, Swan.”

“How long was I asleep?” She pushed herself up into a sitting position, and his coat slid down to her legs.

“Perhaps twenty minutes. Not very long.”

Long enough to feel a little refreshed, but still. “That was fucked up.”

“Aye, I am not particularly fond of that water.”

“You’ve tried it?”

“I stumbled on it by accident the first time and had no clue of its effects. Another time a Lost Boy stole my flask and filled it with the water.”

“How did you react to  _ that?” _

His face grew dark. “I’d rather not talk about it. Needless to say, it never happened again.” He sighed and stretched his legs. “So you didn’t enjoy the experience?”

“It was a little scary, I guess. I was too worried about why I couldn’t remember anything.”

“You slept, though.”

She blinked. “I guess. What, are you suggesting we bring the water back to camp so we can get some shuteye?” He chuckled softly. “I’d much rather just be happy than lose my memories.”

“I find that worse.”

“Really?”

“It’s not that you’re  _ more _ unhappy afterwards than you were before,” he explained. “But because you’ve just experienced such happiness, it’s a jarring change.”

“I guess.”

He sighed. “You’re going to try it, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know. How long does it last?”

“Swan, I’m not comfortable with this.”

“Hook, nothing’s going to happen. If Pan wanted to hurt us, he’d have done it already. We were sitting ducks in that camp for  _ hours. _ You and I are sitting ducks here right  _ now. _ You said he likes his games, and right now, we’re between turns. And neither of us is sleeping.”

“So, what, I should stand idly by while you willingly drug yourself?”

“Why did you let me try the water?” she challenged.

He snorted. “As though I could have stopped you.”

“You would have if it had been really dangerous.”

“Need I remind you that you nearly tore my head off for trying?”

“Why did you let me?” she asked through gritted teeth.

He was clenching his jaw so hard, she could see the muscles twitching. “For the same reason I’ve drank it,” he admitted. “And that I’ve tried the sap.”

_ Because you’re a Lost Boy like I’m a Lost Girl. Because you’re an orphan. Because we’re the same. _

“How long does it last?”

“Depends on the amount. Perhaps an hour.”

She stood up, and the coat fell to the ground. She rolled her eyes as Hook also shot up. “Gonna try to stop me again?”

“I wish you wouldn’t do this.”

“But you get why I am.”

“Aye.”

She stepped over to the weird plant. The sap she’d seen earlier was still dripping down the stalk; it looked like corn syrup. “About how much for an hour?” He raised an eyebrow. “I just—I mean, I don’t want to accidentally end up high for, like, a day.”

“Enough to smear on the back of your hand,” he suggested.

It felt like aloe. Maybe it  _ was _ aloe. Unsure of where to rub it on her skin, besides where Hook had suggested, she opted for just that. It disappeared into the skin of her left hand pretty quickly, drying without a trace.

“Well, that was fast.”

“Faster than drinking water?” Hook asked skeptically.

She opened her mouth to retort.

She blinked.

She chuckled. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Yeah.” Huh. She wasn’t annoyed. “I guess it’s working.”

“Ah. Of course.”

“You seem upset.”

“I didn’t want you to drug yourself in the first place,” he reminded her.

“That’s true. That’s okay.” He was still frowning at her. “What? What’s wrong?”

“You’re just not yourself,” he said with a sigh.

She smiled. “I feel pretty good, though. That’s not a bad thing.”

“Aye, I suppose it’s not.”

She knew, logically, that his attitude  _ should _ be getting her down. But it wasn’t. She wished he would be happier, but it didn’t upset her that he wasn’t.

In fact, it was kind of  _ weird _ but fun thinking about him while she was high. She remembered all of the villainous things he’d done, but she just wasn’t upset about them right now. Instead, when she looked at him, all she could think about was how much she liked spending time with him.

“We should do something,” she said.

He lifted an eyebrow. “Something?” he asked.

“Yeah, like play a game or talk or something.”

“You want to spend time with me?”

“Yeah, I do. Let’s do something.”

“I’m not exactly in the  _ mood _ to ‘do something.’”

“You shouldn’t be upset,” she explained. “You clearly like me, right? So you want me to be happy, and I am happy right now.”

“I—I  _ do _ like you,” he admitted. “But Iike you as you are, not while you’re under the influence of a mind-altering drug.”

“Mood-altering,” she corrected. “My mind is fine. I’m just in a good mood now. One where I can admit that I like you.”

“You like me,” he repeated.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t find me repulsive?”

She laughed. “Um, have you  _ seen _ what you look like?”

“No, I didn’t—” He blushed. He was very cute when he blushed. “I meant, you’ve called me a villain before. I wasn’t aware that opinion had changed.”

She shrugged. “I guess I’ve always understood where you were coming from. And you’re obviously not a bad guy now.” She sat down on the ground and stretched. “This was a good idea. I feel amazing.”

“Well, at least you’re having a good time, love.”

“You could have fun, too,” she pointed out. “That might be cool.”

He scoffed at her. “Emma, please.”

But the idea had already taken hold. “No, you should! I know you’re just as unhappy here as I am—or as I was, I guess. Besides, it’s more fun if we’re both high.” She smiled at him. “What, are you just going to hang out with me for the next hour and be all huffy-puffy and angry and stuff?”

“‘Huffy-puffy?’” he protested. “Really?”

“Come on, it’ll be fun!”

He sighed. “I’m sure I’m going to regret this.” But he walked over to the plant, dabbed a little bit of sap on his fingers, and rubbed it into his palm.

“Wait, I wanna see!” she said excitedly. Up until now, she’d been the one messing with all the different kinds of drugs here, and he’d gotten to see her reaction. Now it was finally her turn. And so she scrambled back to her feet and stood in front of him.

It was  _ really _ cool to see his frown melt away and all the pain and frustration in his eyes disappear. “Wow.” He looked boyishly handsome now, even more so than he had before.

He was grinning dopily. “This  _ was _ an excellent idea, Swan, thank you.”

“Right?”

“I’m sorry I was so resistant.”

“It’s okay. Come on!” She grabbed his hand and dragged him back to the grass so they could both sit. To her surprise, he pulled off his boots and his vest.

“I’m so much more comfortable,” he explained, stretching out his legs and wiggling his toes. “You should take off your boots, too.”

“Okay.” It couldn’t hurt. And wow, he was right; she was  _ so  _ much more comfortable without her boots or socks.

They relaxed for a bit, playing a few games. I Spy wasn’t much fun, since there wasn’t much  _ to _ spy, and Twenty Questions was also kind of boring because they both kept losing track of the questions. For a while, they played a game that Hook suggested, where they would take turns trying to make the other person laugh, but it was just too easy to laugh when they felt so  _ happy. _ Plus, he was just  _ really _ funny.

“So, is there anything else around here?” she asked. Hook made it sound like everything in the clearing was some kind of magical drug, but so far, there had just been the two things. She was a little bored now and she was tempted to try the water again. Maybe if she was high on this happy drug, she wouldn’t panic about having amnesia this time.

“Aye,” he said, with a goofy smile, and he pointed at some gorgeous red flowers. “The pollen in those flowers is the most powerful aphrodisiac I’ve ever encountered throughout my long, adventurous life.”

“Really?”

“Truly.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“You can try it if you don’t believe me. It’s  _ very _ potent. You won’t be able to function until you’ve found relief.”

She laughed. “Should I?” She knew, logically, that it might be a bad idea. She already found Hook attractive, and if she ended up horny beyond belief, she was definitely going to act on those urges.

But she  _ did _ like him, even when she wasn’t as high as a kite. And he liked her. And it  _ would _ be really fun. “Yeah, I want to try it.”

“One moment,” he said, before pushing himself to his feet. He broke one of the flowers off of its bush and returned to where he’d been sitting. “Cheers, love,” he said with a grin before taking a deep whiff of the flower and handing it to her.

She waited before taking a hit. Like before, she wanted to see his reaction.

It happened fast, but not so fast that she couldn’t appreciate the whole thing. He was smiling at her a little vacantly to start with, but then his eyelids drooped a little bit as his pupils dilated. His breathing began to speed up, and then she giggled as she spotted his erection. He groaned and lay on his back. She watched with fascination as he unlaced his leather pants and his cock sprang out. It was a pretty big cock; she reached out to touch it.

“No,” he said firmly, covering it with his hand protectively. The move seemed to be a little counterintuitive because he cried out and bucked his hips. Wow, he was  _ really _ horny. That looked like a lot of fun.

She stared down at the flower in her hand and, with Hook’s whimpers and pants as her soundtrack, she brought it to her face and sniffed it.

It smelled like just a generic flower, and if she didn’t already have proof that the pollen worked, she’d probably react the way she had with the water and made a comment about how it was a dud or something.

But then she felt it.

She could  _ feel _ her nipples jut into her bra. She could feel her clit  _ throb _ . She could feel her panties get very,  _ very _ wet.

Oh  _ god, _ she was so fucking  _ horny _ . She felt backwards and squirmed. “Oh, shit,” she breathed.

It  _ wasn’t _ like she was on the edge of orgasm, like the tiniest touch would set her off. It was more that she just  _ needed _ to come. It was the only thing she could think about. She had no priority, no goal, besides  _ coming. _

Nothing would happen—nothing  _ could _ happen—until she’d had an orgasm.

She fumbled with her jeans for a bit, her hands clumsy from the distraction of  _ oh god I need to come so badly, _ until she got the fly down enough to push them down, along with her panties. Immediately, without thinking, she practically shoved her fingers between her legs.

She gasped as she somehow managed to get three fingers into her soaking wet sex without any discomfort.  _ Wow _ this stuff was fucking powerful! No foreplay and she could probably take a huge cock, no problem.

At the thought of a  _ huge cock, _ she turned to look at Hook. God, he was like real life porn. His shirt was wide open so she could see that his nipples were hard, just like hers. And he’d pushed his pants down even more, so she could see his muscular thighs. He was moaning lewdly, eyes screwed shut, hips thrusting, as he slowly stroked his cock.

And it  _ was _ pretty damn big. He was leaking precum copiously, and smearing it with his hand to use as lube. It would feel  _ really good _ . She just knew it would.

Still fucking herself with as many fingers as she could, she rolled onto her knees and awkwardly began to crawl over to him. He opened his eyes as she approached him. “No,” he said firmly.

“I wanna fuck you,” she said. “Oh god, I want you inside of me.”

“No,” he repeated, but he moaned it almost pathetically.

“Why not? Please, I need it.”

“Drugged,” he panted. “You’re drugged.”

“I know,” she whined.

“Tell me you want me,” he said. It sounded like he was begging. “When you’re sober, tell me you want me. Emma, I want you more than anything. I want you so badly. More than just a fuck—bloody hell, Swan, just tell me—” He became incoherent, and then suddenly, in one beautiful moment, he came.

She watched as he arched his back, as his semen got all over his hand and his cock. She kept pumping her fingers in and out, unable to stop, unable to understand  _ why _ he’d refused to fuck her. She  _ needed _ to be fucked.

Well, he couldn’t fuck her now; he’d just had an orgasm, and his cock was slowly going soft. With a groan, she dropped onto her back, the position making it easier for her to continue touching herself. She ignored Hook as she pumped in and out with one hand and rubbed almost furiously at her clit with the other. She  _ had _ to come. She would  _ die _ if she didn’t come.

Suddenly, he was beside her, his breath hot in her ear, oh  _ god _ that felt good. “Come on, love. You can do it. Come, Emma. I want you to come.”

And with a cry, she did.

Time stopped.

Her whole body, and her whole mind, felt like  _ orgasm. _ That was all she was, all that existed. Pleasure, untouched by any other feeling or sensation. For one long moment, there was nothing except bliss.

Slowly, piece by piece, Emma began to exist again. She was back in her body, and her thoughts returned slowly. She felt sticky and a little boneless, and she was still residually horny. But it was regular “I just had an orgasm but could probably go for another one” horny, and not “If I don’t fuck something, I will actually die painfully” horny.

It was at that point that the happy drug wore off.

She groaned unhappily and shut her eyes as tightly as she could. Hook had been right—all of the shitty feelings she’d been running away from since they’d shown up on this stupid island came rushing back. After being mercifully free of all the shitty feelings for about an hour, it was much more of a burden having them back. No more of  _ that _ drug.

Especially since Emma-on-happy-drugs had thought it would be a good idea to try sex pollen with Hook. She turned to face him.

He was still in the same state of undress, with his shirt almost entirely open, and his pants pushed down to his knees. His cock was flaccid now, and he’d found a scarf somewhere and used it to clean up his ejaculate.

And he was still high; he was staring at her with a big, vacant smile on his face. “That was fun,” he said. “That was a good idea, Swan.”

She laughed. “You didn’t want to have sex with me,” she reminded him. She wished he’d said yes. The feeling welled up from out of nowhere, the feeling of disappointment. She hadn’t expected that she would actually  _ want _ to have sex with Hook, but here she was, wanting to have sex with Hook.

“Oh, but I do,” he said earnestly. “Just, you have to be sober. It wouldn’t be good form otherwise.”

She snorted. That was fair. He sounded like one of those posters for enthusiastic consent, but he was right. And she was sober now.

She was still staring at him when he came down from his own high. It was a little sad, watching the recognition come across his face, and to see the darkness return to his eyes. He looked away, blushing fiercely. “Bloody buggering hell. Swan, I’m so sorry.”

“Why?”

“I shouldn’t have partaken. I needed to watch over you, and instead …” He didn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he rolled over and began to pull up his pants. “I’ll give you some privacy—actually, if you give me a moment, I can fetch you something to clean yourself up with.”

“Wait—”

He stopped mid-fumble and looked back at her in confusion.

“You said I just had to be sober,” she said quietly.

He frowned and waited before replying. “Are you—are you implying what I suspect?”

“Which is?”

He rolled his eyes. “That you want me to ma—you want me to fuck you?”

She nodded.

“Why?”

Why did she want him to fuck her?

_ Because you care enough that you didn’t take what you wanted without my consent. Because I just don’t want to feel alone anymore. Because I wanted you while I was high because I  _ do _ want you while I’m sober. _

“Because I’m still horny.” At least it was true.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed. “You want me to fuck you because you’re still aroused?”

“Yeah.”

“Even if you could admit the real reason, I can’t.” He gestured at his crotch; his laces were still undone, but he was otherwise covered up.

“What about the flowers?”

“What about them?”

“Couldn’t they, you know … wake you up again?”

He stared at her. “You want me to partake of the flowers  _ again?” _

“I mean, then you’d be good to go again, so sure.”

“I just want to make sure I understand you,” he said slowly. “You are not currently under the influence of either the sap or the pollen, and you wish for me to use the pollen again so that I will be able to … fuck you,” he finished, sounding defeated.

“Never mind,” she said. “I just—I want to, okay? I might have been high, but I wasn’t lying. I—I like you. But if you don’t want to—”

“I do,” he said. “And I wasn’t lying either, Swan—I want you more than anything. But not just your body, love. This would mean something to me, and I don’t know if I can do this if it doesn’t mean something to you.”

“It does,” she said gently. “It does, just—look, never mind, I’m sorry.” She lifted up her hips so she could shimmy her panties and jeans back up.

“No,” he said, pulling her toward him. “Never be sorry.”

His kiss was messy but soft, and for a minute, she forgot that she wasn’t high anymore. It was just electric, the way it ran through her, turning her low level arousal into something stronger. She let go of her clothes and reached for his shirt, gripping it as she pulled him even closer. He responded in kind, grabbing at her tank top and pressing the base of his brace into the small of her back.

She knew that telling him would probably ruin whatever was about to happen, but damn,  _ this _ is what she’d needed a few minutes ago. Even without the pollen, she felt  _ so _ good, and it was because of  _ him. _

“Please,” she said, breaking the kiss only long enough to whisper the word. His tongue swept into her mouth eagerly in response before he broke away, stumbling to his feet to grab another flower.

He handed it to her. “You got to watch me,” he said. “I want to watch you.”

She paused before realizing it was only fair. He was going to take another dose for her, so she could do the same for him. She handed it back. “Hold on.” His confusion expression became lustful as he watched her push her panties and jeans off. She thought about keeping her top on, but then she thought about exactly what was going on.

He wanted her. He cared about her. This meant something to him.

It meant something to her, too. Probably not the same thing, but something nonetheless. And even if this was just going to be a quick fuck, it wasn’t a quick  _ meaningless _ fuck, and pretending it was wasn’t fair.

To either of them.

She pulled off her tank top and unhooked her bra, smirking as Hook groaned. “All right, gimme,” she said, reaching for the flower.

She knew what to expect, but this time, she had an audience. She turned to face him, looking him in the eye as she smelled the flower. She handed it back and he lifted an eyebrow expectantly.

And then the effects hit.

It felt just as good as before, even without the effects of the sap. Her body felt like it was made out of molten arousal, and even though she knew she was supposed to be letting Hook watch, she couldn’t help but lie back. Sitting up was too much work if it didn’t mean she was going to come.

She just needed to come. She needed to be fucked.

A moan next to her, cutting through the fog, was the only indication she had that Hook had dosed himself. At least, the only initial indication.

Because then his hand and his hook were on her, and he was kissing her again—oh it was even  _ better _ than before, when it had just been her alone. The feeling of his skin against hers, his lips against hers, his body against hers—

As soon as  _ Please fuck me _ flitted through her mind, he was already thrusting into her.

This wasn’t sex. This was Nirvana.

This time, coming was different. She was still transformed into pleasure, but this time, she was with him, and the two of them were one thing, and it was  _ perfect. _

They came down slowly. She kept her eyes closed as he rolled off of her; she listened as he moved around, and flinched as she felt him press fabric into her hand. She opened her eyes to find a scarf, similar to the one he’d used to bandage her hand on the beanstalk. She didn’t need to ask what it was for; she gently cleaned herself up, remembering to wipe her hands on it first. They were still sticky from her first orgasm.

“There’s a stream nearby,” he said hoarsely. “A normal one.” She nodded.

Soon, they were both dressed again; without needing to be told, Emma understood that their evening alone in the clearing was over. They were going to wash up and head back to camp, and tomorrow (if there was such a thing as “tomorrow” here in Neverland), they were going to resume the search for Henry. This would all be a weird dream, where she got high with Captain Hook and had sex with him.

“Are you all right, Swan?” Hook asked, interrupting her thoughts. “Did I—should I not have—”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I wanted to.”

“Then why do you look as though you regret it?” he asked darkly.

_ Because we could have been ambushed and I put us both in danger. Because I should have been focused on Henry instead of trying to run away from my problems. Because I feel like I’m supposed to regret this and I don’t. _

“Because I’m tired,” was all she could say.

She hoped he knew the truth.

He nodded, and they headed for the stream.

* * *

“You know how you tried to kill Gold with dreamshade?” Emma asked.

“That’s quite an interesting conversation starter,” Killian replied, setting his book down on the nightstand beside him. “I do remember. Why?”

“So you took dreamshade from Neverland, right?”

“Aye. I knew it might come in handy if I were to encounter the Crocodile in an environment free of magic.”

“And we took the water from Neverland, too.”

“For your father? Yes, we did. Why are you asking?”

“Did you ever take anything else from Neverland?”

He frowned. “What else is there to take?”

“You know … stuff?”

“Emma.”

“Flowers?”

“Flowers? Really, love—oh, you mean  _ those _ flowers?”

“Mmhmm.”

He smiled. “I may have a few in my cabin. I was saving them for a rainy day.”

Now it was her turn to smile as she pointed to the raindrops hitting the windowpane.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story and I'd love to hear what you think!


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